hey your face.

First of all... gotta quit drunk facebooking. I caught myself posting a Silverstein video the other night. Can't be having that.

Secondly, gotta quit drunk youtube surfing... Well, actually, nah that's not so bad. I keep finding cool acoustic covers of pop songs. And as we all know, I'm a sucker for anything acoustic. (Especially if it comes with nice boobies.)

But thirdly, and most importantly, I MUST stop drunk texting. There are two people that I drunk text fairly regularly (and I'm sure you know who you are, if you perchance happen to be reading this... which I actually highly doubt... but I digress.) And to both of these people I tend to over share. You know how they say that the truth tends to come out when you're drunk? (well, except for when you're talking to the cops) ....yeah. Needless to say they are probably very aware of how I feel about the situation, in no uncertain terms.

sigh.

See, I talk about this because I'm trying to keep myself from doing that particular thing at this very moment. My thought process on this is that if I hack away at the computer instead of at my phone maybe I'll feel as if I accomplished whatever it is I'm trying to accomplish with my Tourettes style texting.

So far, it isn't working so well. I currently have a text typed out and sitting in the draft box of my phone. And no, I'm not telling you what it says.

What baffles me about myself is... I have all these random moments where I feel so alone and I whine about how I'm tired of being alone and blah. blah. fucking blah. But there are people who love me, people who are interested in me, people who want to spend time with me. And what do I do? I want what I can't have. I want the guy that knows I love him and doesn't do anything about it. I want the guy that knows I've been in love with him the last year + and in the last 6 months have been telling him so at least once every couple of weeks since Christmas/New Year's. I want the asshole that finally tells me he loves me then needs space 2 days later.

...why?
I could not fucking tell you. I don't understand it myself.


to text, or not to text
that is the question.



listen. because i fucking told you to. kthx.