hey, that's relational frame theory

well, I've walked these streets
a virtual stage, it seemed to me
makeup on their faces
actors took their places next to me
well, I've walked these streets
in a carnival, of sights to see
all the cheap thrill seekers vendors and the dealers
they crowded around me

Fuck being a middle age woman jesus christ every time I cough or sneeze too hard my brain instantly thinks, "Please don't pee" and I spend the next however long flexing my pelvic floor chanting the "please don't pee" mantra and praying it stops soon. To add to it, I'm not exactly quick on my feet so jumping up to run to the bathroom is unfortunately not an option. 

I don't know that I have much to say today with actual words, but I've been making an epic playlist all day. It covers the bases of the ebb and flow of my emotions and energy over the day. As of 5pm it's already 2 hours long so... As for as the playlist goes, I would like to point out that none of it was brought up on shuffle, I've thought through and picked each one of these songs intentionally. A lot of them are associated with strong memories. hey, that's relational frame theory!  To practice writing I'm going to go through the playlist and talk about some of the songs. Let's not get carried away now.

Let's see if I can remember...

playlist.

# 1 Murder In my Mind: Kordell
        This one is fun to drive to. Reminds me of getting on the interstate heading to This City or That City. I'd usually put it on to amp myself up for the crazy traffic and the start of my day. Thinking back on all those mornings in the car. Drinking my smoothie, rocking out, chugging a protein drinking and trying to enjoy the morning drive before a long day. As I write this there's another song that I like to drive to and even though the idea of driving is kind of scary I can still feel the bumps on the steering wheel and my hands. The thunk it would make when I drummed against it while waiting for a light to change. The ridges that had worn to the shape of my fingertips... The slight lag when my foot would push the pedal then the VROOMWEEEE when the gear caught. Opening the sunroof on a sunny day and just rocking the FUCK out. Damn. Writing always gets the truth. I didn't realize how much I missed driving. 

(NOTE: If this is how much I wrote for the first song imagine how long this will be hahaha. If I finish it, that is. My attention span is pretty short)

#2 The View from Here; Octavia Spencer

        This song is fun to sing along to and gets me frickin' PUMPED. The song is from a Christmas movie called Spirited. I'm not going to explain it, because this. I wish I was this talented. Also, it's not a Christmas song. 

#3 Drop (feat Blac Youngster

        That bass tho.

#4  Doing Fine; Snow Tha Product

        I got a backpack, shades, and a heart that's made of gold

        and the title of my life: "The Best Story Ever Told" and

        I think that I'm doing alright

#8 Leaving on a Jet Plane; Peter, Paul, & Mary

        I frickin' love singing this song. It also makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, especially when I remember that part from Armageddon where Ben Affleck sings it to Liv Tyler. That's a good movie I haven't watched that in awhile. I saw that in a movie theater that doesn't exist anymore. I also used to have the playlist and remember sitting in my Buick with the windows at my favorite park, smoking a joint and listening to this song. 

#14 Hard to Handle; Black Crows

hey, little thing, let me light your candle

'cause, mama, I'm so hard to handle now, yes sir, I'm

So many nights on the dance floor rocking the fuck out to this song. Arms up, drink in hand, pointing at my friends as we drunkenly shout along with the lyrics. Closing my eyes and experiencing the music... I always do that. I've been to so many concerts where I hardly look up. When I'm experiencing live music I close my eyes so I can fully immerse myself in it. Live music experiences are extremely personal to me and closing my eyes gives me a sense of privacy to revel in the moment and feel the vibrations from the music.

#15 

AUTHORS NOTE: yeah, my ADHD train did not let me finish this I wandered off and never came back. The playlist is attached, click the link. Or don't. It's whatevs.

To be continued....? 

courtesy; natalie.merchant