out on the road today i saw a Dead head sticker on a cadillac. a little voice inside my head said don't look back you can never look back.

been walking all morning went walking all night
i can't see much difference between the dark and light
and i feel the wind and i taste the rain

never in my mind to cause so much pain.

comes a time when the blind-man takes your hand, says don't you see? 

gotta make it somehow on the dreams you still believe.
don't give it up, you got an empty cup only love can fill,

only love can fill.

from day to day just letting it ride.
you get so far away from how it feels inside.

you can't let go cause you're afraid to fall,
but the day may come when you can't feel at all.
the words come out like an angry stream.
you hear yourself say things you could never mean.

when you cool down you find your mind. 

                                            you got a lot of words you've got to stand behind.


Today has me feeling nostalgic... Summer is on its way, school is almost over... and it's time for the next chapter in that ginormous, soap opera of a tale entitled. "ALY'S FUCKING LIFE". My chapters seem to be fairly short lately... Hm...

The first week of May is going to be a bitch... A dirty, nasty, evil, whore of a week. (Probably a ginger too, knowing my luck.) It's impending approach has got my tum tied up in knots. However... once that week is over... Life will settle back into some semblance of normalcy. Whatever that is. I'm just ready for it to be over.

oh man, the situations I get myself into.
my life is an experiment in really bad decisions.

Is there truth to the lies? How long did I bullshit my way through life before I started believing the shit I was saying? How much of that has truly changed? As I've always said, which tends to piss a lot of people off, but it's true. I've had enough experience observing human nature and being a total fuckwad that I guarantee its validity. People don't change. Their situations change. I am still the same person I was 3 years ago, knee deep in self induced muck. But I've put myself in a better situation. Better people, better environment, better food... lol. But I'll still always carry that chunk of my life around with me. Can't change it. Can't fix it. Then again, I don't want to be fixed, I'm not broken. Just slightly out of balance... but hey, that just makes me more interesting. I've got more life experience than most people twice my age. Word of insight, the world is not the bubble gum flavored place a lot of you seem to think it is. There are terrible, soul stealing things out there. And you would not believe how easy it is to get trapped by your decisions. Even the best of people make mistakes. So think really hard about what you're doing. Trust your instincts. If your gut tells you it's a stupid idea, it probably is.

Ramble, ramble, ramble...

what if all the world around you isn't quite as it seems?


courtesy; don.henley/grateful.dead./NIN