Billie's Story

This is the story of a junior high girl and her chaotic upbringing. Her parents runaway young marriage and teen pregnancy. Her grandparents fought each other as much as, if not more than the parents, and everyone had an opinion on how the child should be raised. 

The child spent much of her young life stumbling through different parenting styles from people who were supposed to know better and love her. But all those people sent conflicting and incomplete messages, as they bickered amongst themselves they stopped sending the messages as they assumed it was already too late--that someone else had already taught the lesson.

But they hadn't.

The little girl was never quite sure what rules to follow, so she made up her own. They made sense to her, and fit comfortably in the world she'd created inside her head. The people inside her head were far more interesting and easy to talk to anyway.

Dear Diary,

Today is the day! Moving day. I'm excited to live someplace new and to move out of the trailer park. It's an actual house in the School Name neighborhood where a lot of my friends, and even some of my teachers, live. There won't be a neighborhood pool anymore though, which I'm sad to leave behind but the new neighborhood is so much bigger, which means more space to ride my bike!

I'm also sad because Step Dad won't be coming with us. Mom told me that our moving is a secret, and not to tell anyone. Especially Grandma or Step Dad. She said she met someone at work, and that Step Dad never wanted to better themselves, so she had to leave and now she wants to be with this new guy. I've met him a couple times and he seems nice. He took us to the mall and out to dinner and the movies. I don't really understand it, but I'm glad she's happy.

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was my first morning in the new house. Sorry for not writing anything right away, but I wanted to get started unpacking and setting up my room. I get the big bedroom with my very own bathroom, how cool is that?! Mom let me have the master bedroom because she felt bad about taking me away from Step Dad and making my lie to Grandma. I don't know if it really makes up for it, but I've had fun planning the decoration ideas with Chaudron. We talked about it last night on our way home from AWANA. So you know how I like Winnie the Pooh, right? Have you ever seen classic Winnie the Pooh?? It's so pretty! So now I'm thinking Classic Winnie the Pooh for the bathroom, and butterflies for the bedroom. Other Grandma bought me pretty butterfly curtains for my new room! They're SOO pretty! A sheer white with colorful butterflies everywhere, they're going to make the room look so fun! I also have to leave room for my JTT (that's Johnathan Tayler Thomas, if you didn't know) and Devon Sawa posters. OMG they're so HOT!!

Another cool thing about living in the new house is that Mom's Boyfriend just bought a computer!! Now I'll be able to have my own screenname in chat rooms. I've been practicing typing in Specials class (I have computers this quarter) and so far I'm the fastest in the class. I'm never the best at anything so it made me feel really good when Mr. Teacher told the class about me. It was embarrassing having all that attention on me, but I guess it's not that much different than dance or choir. I don't know though. I rehearse for those. Ugh. I wish I could rehearse everything. It would make life so much easier! I never know what to say to people, they talk about things I could care less about and look at me like I'm a weirdo when I try to talk about the things I like. I feel like people always laugh at me when I try to be myself. 

I do practice sometimes, or at least I try. Mom let me sign up to get Seventeen and I read those over and over again. I could never wear some of those clothes though I wish I could. Those girls are so pretty! Why couldn't God have made me half as pretty as them? 

Well Diary, G2G! I'm going swimming at Michelle's house. I hope mom let's me stay the weekend, we were working on a super cool haunted house in the basement last time and I want to finish it. 

Peace Out,

Billie