Tuesday, October 30, 2012

oh my god. this was the opus you waited your whole life for.

**Keep in mind this is written for a class and is very watered down. When I tried to write it in my usual tone the first two pages of this version was almost 12 pages long once I printed it.***



Aly Hampton

Peggy Davis

Mythology

30 OCT 2012

Wide Awake

Alexander jerked awake. The room was dark and silent. His hand instinctively reached next to him and he brushed against Desdemona's leg. He had been having the most vivid dream. He was standing in his parent's living room and it looked exactly as it had the last time he'd seen it.
          "Hello Alexander," a woman's voice murmured.
          "Hel..loo..." he responded. He stepped back and tripped over an ottoman. The dream was so real he could feel the texture of it. The lady in green smiled slightly.
          "This isn't so much a dream as a... what do you mortals call it? Out of body experience?"
          "If that's the case then what is it you want? You've been hanging around in my head for the last week."
          "Straight to the point, I like that about you. It's part of the reason I've chosen you."
          "Chosen me for what, exactly?"
          "You're it. You're the one that can save the world. There's just a few tests you must pass in order for me to fix things."
          "Me? Why me? I'm not even a very good person. I have like three unpaid parking tickets in my glove box right now and I used to cheat on my geometry tests. I'm pretty sure I hit a squirrel with my car last week. I think you've got the wrong guy."
         The lady in green laughed. "In the grand scheme of things Alexander, those don't matter so much. You, Alexander, are a true warrior. You can choose to make your heart and your mind work together when necessary, not against each other as so many mortals do." She paused and her face took on a melancholy look. "My children have been a disappointment to me the last few hundred years."
          "Your children?"
           "Don't you realize who I am? I'm the Creator. The Be-All-End-All. Mother Earth. God. Gaea. Whatever name you choose to give me, I am it."
          Alexander's eyes widened and his mouth made an O of surprise. "But... you're a chick."
          Her eyes blazed and she suddenly seemed to fill the whole room.
         "You arrogant child! Why is there this persistent belief that the power of life comes from a man? It is an asinine idea! Who gives birth? Is it a man? No! This is yet another factor into your self destruction! You have lost the true path. In your arrogance you forget the old ways. You have brought this upon yourselves! Year after year, you humans pump garbage into the air and water! There are entire villages that are starving and instead of helping them, you are constantly finding new ways to kill your brothers and sisters! You ungrateful, selfish humans are destroying what I have made for you and neglecting to realize and appreciate the true value of life. And like naughty children who break their toys, I am taking them away."
          Alexander dropped to his knees unwillingly as the lady in green forced him down before her.
          "You will undergo a series of trials, Alexander. If you pass I will give you the power to rebuild your world. But if you fail, the destruction will continue. One by one the remaining survivors will die until everyone you have ever loved is gone. Then I will wipe the slate clean and start over."
          "This new world will be a fresh start. It is my will that you take from this experience the knowledge that life is precious. There must be balance in all things to maintain harmony with your environment. If you take care of me and give me the respect that is my due, I will in turn take care of you." She drew in a breath and shrank back to her previous size. "I will continue coming to you in your dreams. Doubt me or disregard my instructions in anyway and it's, what is the phrase? Game over. No more extra lives."
          The room began to fade away and Alexander could feel himself on the edge of waking.
          "Wait!" he yelled. "When’s this going down?”
          He knew in his heart something big was coming but he wasn't sure what exactly. He went to the window and looked out into the night. As he turned to go back to bed he noticed a movement out of the corner of his eye. A woman, a nurse from the look of her clothes, was stumbling down the street. A child was running from her, clutching his arm and screaming at the top of his lungs. Blood dripped off the nurse and the boy.
          "This is only the beginning," a voice inside Alexander's head whispered.
           Two weeks later found Alexander and Desdemona standing on the roof of a Wal-Mart staring into a mass of over two hundred creeps.
         "This is your first task," the lady in green had told him in his dreams the night before. “You must be willing to sacrifice Desdemona in order for you to rescue the other survivors trapped in the store."
          He had wrestled with the idea all night and morning. Alexander had been tempted to bundle her up and push on in the other direction, but his conscience reminded him of the selfishness of that act. Save one person? Or attempt to rescue the entirety of humanity? He gulped and gave his girlfriend a shaky smile.
          "Let’s go," he whispered. They opened the door to the air duct and crawled into it.            The inside of the building was quiet and empty as far as they could tell. They lowered themselves onto the nearest shelf. As Alexander’s feet touched the metal there was a brief sound of shuffling footsteps and the click of a gun cocking.
         Minutes later a young blonde woman was hugging them both and crying at the same time while a tall, exhausted looking man stood quietly off to the side.
         "I'm so glad to see you!" she cried. "I'm Danae and this is my brother Daemon."
         At that moment the creeps that had been milling around outside finally burst through the windows and doors, interrupting the introductions. Alexander glanced at the two women and with reluctance and a sinking heart he picked up Danae and started running. He could hear the pounding footsteps of Daemon running behind them.
          "Alexander?!" Desdemona screeched as she struggled to keep up. "Alexander where are you going?" Alexander gripped Danae tighter and never looked back.
         Once they had cleared the parking lot and skirted off into the surrounding woods they stopped to catch their breath.
          "I knew you'd come," Danae finally said. Alexander was still winded and looked at her quizzically.
          "Gaea comes to me in my dreams. She told me a man would come and rescue us and that she had plans for all of us."
          "Gaea huh? I just think of her as the lady in green. She's been messing with my head for a month. I'm not so sure how I feel about her."
          Danae giggled. "Don't you know Alexander? You're the defender of mankind."
          Daemon managed to crack a smile. "She talks to me sometimes too, though not as often as Danae. She mostly repeats herself. 'You are the guardian. Protect them.'"
          That night found the trio in the back of an abandoned Volvo station wagon with the doors locked. As soon as he shut his eyes, Alexander fell into a deep sleep. His dreams were always the same. The lady in green came to him in his parent's living room but this time Danae was there with him.
          "The second of your tasks," Gaea said, "will be to defeat The Evil One in my name. You will find The Evil One on the far side of the Lake of Morae. Just remember Alexander that you have promised to follow all my instructions without question. If you fail there is no second chance."
          The next morning Alexander, Daemon, and Danae started the arduous trek hundreds of miles west to the Lake of Morae. Gaea remained uncomfortably silent throughout their journey. Once they reached the gray beach of the Lake of Morae they discovered an old fishing boat washed up into the rocks. They paddled their way across the cold, choppy water and came upon a large building surrounded by mismatched fence posts and barbed wire. It looked as if it had once been a military base.
          Danae grabbed Alexander's hand. "Whatever is in there, you can fight it. I believe in you."
          As they scanned the beach for a place to abandon the boat a voice called out,                    “They’re here!” a voice called out. Another voice, farther away responded,
          "Bring them in! She'll want to see them!"
           Daemon let out a shaky breath and looked directly at Alexander,
           "Gaea warned me about this place. Alexander, you have to remember your task. Don't let your emotions sway you."
          Before Alexander could respond a weight landed in the boat, the attached rope used to drag them ashore.
           Two large men swooped in on Daemon and Danae and eyed Alexander warily.
           "He's not as big as I thought he'd be," the one on the left said to the other.
           "Yeah I know. Well, whatever," he shrugged. "She just asked for him, let's take the other two downstairs until we figure out what she wants."
          Alexander walked between the two men up to a door that said “AUTHORIZED PERSONEL ONLY” in large block letters.
          "In there," the one on the right motioned.
           The door swung open and sitting in a chair by the window was a woman holding a baby.
          "Hello Alexander." It was Desdemona, her face and arms covered in scars.
           Alexander eyed her warily. Part of him was relieved to see she had made it. The rest of him was afraid of what that meant.
          “Come and see your son,” she said sweetly, turning the baby to face him. Alexander was immediately repulsed. The child was a creep, or at least appeared to be. His eyes were almost entirely black and he had the gray death pallor the others did. There was even blood dried in the corners of his mouth.
           “What is that thing?” he whispered. Before Desdemona could reply the child latched onto her arm and nibbled forcefully for a few moments. When he pulled away there were small bite size pieces missing from his mother’s flesh.
           “This is Than, he’s the new beginning. If we’re going to make it in this world, we have to adapt.” The child looked up at Desdemona as she spoke and cooed. “See? He’s like them but he’s still human too. I was pregnant when you left me to die, did you know?  But I’m rambling,” she paused.
           “I somehow managed to fight my way through the herd of creeps, after being bitten all over, of course. I don’t know how, but I didn’t die. Then a few months later I found this place and had Than.”
           Gaea’s voice whispered in Alexander’s ear. “You must destroy them. They will bring about the death and destruction I spoke of before.”
            “This little guy is our hope,” Desdemona continued. “If we can become them, but still retain our humanity, then the few like Than will be able to rule what’s left of this world.”
            As soon as she finished speaking Alexander reacted. He walked over to Desdemona and drew a blade from within his sleeve. In a fluid movement he wrenched her head back and slit her throat. He turned and grabbed Than, careful to keep his arms away from the mouth and opened the window.
           “You are not my son!” he screamed and threw him into the water below.
           Gaea appeared to Alexander in the room, dressed in green as always. “I’m very proud of you,” she said. “Only two tasks remain. The next is that you lead these people. They need to be instructed in my ways and taught the new way of life. I will return to you at this time next year and deliver your final task.”
           The winter brought about several changes, most importantly the birth of three daughters to Alexander and Danae. Uncle Daemon was charged with their care as the parents educated their new people and solved disputes.
           On the girls’ first birthday Gaea came to Alexander for the final time. She had chosen to appear before the entire community on this occasion. She assumed her full size and towered over the humans.

“Here is your final task,” she decreed. “Alexander, it is my will that you sacrifice one of your daughters to me,” her voice echoed ominously.
            “No way! I can’t!” he instantly replied. “You can have me if you’re bent on taking someone. My daughters are the future of this place you crazy lady! They’ve been raised to honor and respect you just like you asked, so just go ahead and take me, but you can’t have them.”
           There was a long pause while everyone in the crowd held their breath and waited for her reaction. Suddenly, Gaea smiled and warm sunshine fell on them all.
            “That was the correct choice! You have truly learned something from all of your hardship. You are right, Alexander. Your three daughters will shape and control the fate of humanity. Without all of them there would be no future for mankind. You have proven yourself very noble young Alexander. Do not forget what you have learned and your people will prosper.”
           The lady in green receded into the clouds and a rainbow burst out of the sky. Alexander put his arm around Danae and his daughters and smiled.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Annotated Bibliography

Berens, E.M. Myths and Legends of Ancient Greece and Rome. n.p.: Project Gutenberg, n.d.

eBook Collection. Web. 22 Sept, 2012.

·         In ‘Wide Awake’ Alexander and the other survivors must recreate the world from chaos and destruction, which is seen repeatedly throughout the Greek creation mythologies.

·         This source came from Project Gutenberg and the book is used as a generalized handbook of information regarding the gods and goddesses of ancient Greece and Rome.

 

Hesiod. Hesiod, The Homeric Hymns, And Homerica. n.p.: Project Gutenberg, n.d. eBook

Collection. Web. 22 Sept. 2012

·         The role of Demeter as the aggrieved mother earth who punishes humans is the main plot in ‘Wide Awake’.

·         The source came from Project Gutenberg and is one of the principal sources of Homeric myth.

 

Homer. The Illiad. Trans. E.V. Rieu, New York City: Penguin Books, 1960. Print.

·         The Illiad is a heroic tale illustrating the strength of those determined to fight for what they believe in. The tale of Alexander does the same as he fights his way towards restoring his world in hopes of surivival.

·         E.V. Rieu was a well known translator of several other ancient mythologies, such as Jason and the Golden Fleece, and was recognized by The Royal Society of Literature for his contributions to the literary world.

 

Homer. The Odyssey. Trans. E.V. Rieu. New York City: Penguin Books, 1946. Print

·         ‘Wide Awake’ is loosely based on the story of Odysseus and his arduous journey home.

·         E.V. Rieu was a well known translator of several other ancient mythologies, such as The Pastoral Poems, and was recognized by The Royal Society of Literature for his contributions to the literary world.

 

 

Petsko GA: The walking dead. Genome Biology 2011. 12:108.

·         This article discusses the use of zombies in popular culture to illustrate the fear mankind has of its own destruction and the impossibilities of them being scientifically created. If, according to this, there is no medical confirmation of how they come to be, for the purpose of ‘Wide Awake’ this shows that it must be from an outside, supernatural force.

·         This source came from the BioMed Central website, a collection of scholarly medical and scientific journals.


Plato, and Benjamin Jowett. The Republic. n.p.: Project Gutenberg, n.d. eBook Collection. Web.
            2 Oct. 2012.

·         Plato directly references the concept of the three fates and names them. Alexander’s daughters at the end of the story are representative of the moerae and Plato’s interpretation of helping direct faith by wisdom is used.

·         This is a public domain source found on Project Gutenberg and Jowett was a professor of Greek and theology at Oxford University.

 

Powell, Barry B. Classical Myth. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1998. Print.

·         The text book expounds on the meanings of the labors of Heracles as well as the definition and purpose of the three fates.

·         Barry B. Powell is a Professor of Classics at The University of Wisconsin-Madison and specializes in Homeric myth.

 

The Twelve Labours of Hercules, Son of Jupiter & Alcmena. n.p. Project Gutenberg, n.d. eBook

  Collection. Web. 22 Sept. 2012.

 

·         The myth of Heracles, a hero forced to complete labors as a form of atonement for past transgressions, is one of the main themes of the story of Alexander. He must complete the tasks Mother Earth sets before him in order to restore the planet.

·         This source comes from Project Gutenberg and is a well documented interpretation of the Heracles/Hercules story.

 

 

 

Works Consulted

Berens, E.M. Myths and Legends of Ancient Greece and Rome. n.p.: Project Gutenberg, n.d.

eBook Collection. Web. 22 Sept, 2012.

Hesiod. Hesiod, The Homeric Hymns, And Homerica. n.p.: Project Gutenberg, n.d. eBook

Collection. Web. 22 Sept. 2012

Homer. The Illiad. Trans. E.V. Rieu, New York City: Penguin Books, 1960. Print.

Homer. The Odyssey. Trans. E.V. Rieu. New York City: Penguin Books, 1946. Print.

Petsko GA: The walking dead. Genome Biology 2011. 12:108.

Plato, and Benjamin Jowett. The Republic. n.p.: Project Gutenberg, n.d. eBook Collection. Web.
            2 Oct. 2012.

Powell, Barry B. Classical Myth. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Prentice Hall, 1998. Print.

The Twelve Labours of Hercules, Son of Jupiter & Alcmena. n.p. Project Gutenberg, n.d. eBook

  Collection. Web. 22 Sept. 2012.

Sunday, October 28, 2012

isn't it ironic? don't you think?



old journal entry.
 
APRIL 27, 2008
SUNDAY
3:21 pm

Fuck man. I like my life. I know there is room for improvement but I think I would value it more if I didn't feel forced into it. Then again maybe I'm just afraid of change and needed motivation. I think since it's already 3:30 I'm just going to do job search tomorrow. I was up early and motivated but I did a lot of cleaning then I got high waiting for mom to get back with the car. Fuck. Maybe I really am an addict. Wouldn't it just be a bitch if he were right?





Irony, anyone?
Anyone?

Monday, October 22, 2012

i should be asleep instead of writing this.




Do you ever have "WHAT THE FUCK WAS I THINKING?!" moments? Of course you do. Everyone does. Some WTF's are less serious than others. For example, totally word vomiting all over your crush because he/she makes you nervous and you can't make your mouth stop moving. (what the fuck was I thinking? why did I say that?) Or perhaps you made out with the ugly chick from the bar. (dude, what. the fuck.) There are, of course, the more serious circumstances. Like... getting caught driving with weed in your pocket. (Why the fuck didn't I just crotch that shit? What was I thinking??) These moments are occasionally funny, but usually frustrating. 

I was just going through my computer and cleaning out a bunch of shit I don't need anymore. Old pictures, duplicate stuff, homework assignments from years ago. Y'know, just occupying myself till my brain is tired enough to sleep. And... I found... woah. Man. I was so fucked up. Like seriously. Some of these pictures... and there were videos... what the fuck!? I went from 10 to 0 in about .5 seconds. I mean, it's kinda funny actually. Like if you found this shit on youtube or some random website you'd get a laugh at the silly fucked up girl. And I'm pretty good at laughing at myself. We all know I do stupid shit all the time.

But.
Still.
Ew.

Followed by a LOL because quite frankly... it's funny. In a sad kinda way.

I'm all tired and caffeine-crashy the time for sleep is now so I should probably not be writing. I get all weird when I'm sleepy.
 
But to be honest, which I usually am to the point where I over share... shit still gets to me every once in awhile at random moments. Usually around the 20th of the month. Especially around landmark goals. It's so weird. I'll be in a fan-fucking-tastic mood on the 20th. Then that night or the next day it's like... sugar crash. Reality check crash. Every time I congratulate myself I'm reminded of where I came from. And MAN. Man.

Just.
fucking.

Shit.

For fucks sake.


Shut up Aly.
go to bed.


Insightful thought you should take away from this: 

Don't be a fucktard.

OR

If you are, don't take pictures/videos of it and save it to your computer.



Thanx for tuning in.
We will return to our regularly scheduled programming shortly.

TUNE IN NEXT TIME TO HEAR ALY SAY....


"The weird thing about vaginas is..."






courtesy; Deathcab.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

we can dance if we want to. we can leave your friends behind, 'cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance well they're no friends of mine.



 author's note: I am in an extremely goofy mood.
I'm all jacked up on coffee and twizzlers and happy bubbles.

you have been warned.


do you like it boy?
  i wa-wa-want
what you wa-wa-want
give it to me baby
like boom, boom, boom
what i wa-wa-want
is what you wa-wa-want
na, na
ah, ah

(is this even fucking English?!?!)


I think I feel kinda dirty... I just had an intense rock out moment to Rihanna. I can't help myself! I have these urges where I feel I must listen to ridiculous music extremely loud and break it down like a spastic 12 year old with Tourrette's. (Like where the fuck did this come from?) Do other people have those moments too? I'm imagining so. Perhaps they just aren't as open about it. It's not like I don't get embarrassed when I get caught, because quite frankly, I know there are moments where I look a lot like this guy. I think I even make that face sometimes...

There was the time I got caught singing into a corn dog because I thought I was home alone. Actually, if I recall correctly I was double fisting corn dogs. (Hahaha, that sounds so dirty.) One was a microphone, one was my imaginary drum stick.  Pretty sure I was listening to Poison or Def Leppard too. Maybe both, who knows. I'm not sure how long he was watching.

Hello, my name is Aly, and I have an addiction to 80's hair metal. True story, I've actually seen Poison 4 times... had box seats for one of them.
 Brett Michaels <3    
(NOTE: I blame my mother for this.)


Oh, and we can't forget about my Katy Perry obsession.
(NOTE: I blame Jessa for this.)

Or the time I was having an arm flailing, goofy faced epic rock out session to Hanson in the car on the way to school and the truck driver honked at me... I'm normally good about containing it to a room with a locked door and the shades drawn, but y'know. Shit happens.

I think dancing is an integral part to life. At least it is to me, even if it's just going to local shows. Or doing flying leaps through my living room while I'm cleaning. Or doing the butt wiggle in front of the mirror while I'm getting ready for work and belting out Call Me Maybe. Why? Because it's fucking fun! When you're happy and you get your heart going, you get that natural high. That happy high that's between you and... whatever spiritual entity you choose to believe in. Maybe you aren't comfortable being your natural self, and if not, that's a fucking shame. I'm a spaz. A goof. An obnoxious, belly laugh in public, do the electric slide down the grocery aisle kind of person. Most of the time anyway. Not everybody's happy all the time.

It's okay baby, just relax. If you're miserable, you're choosing to make yourself that way. And that makes me sad for you.





hey,
i just met you
and this is crazy
but here's my number...
so call me, maybe?









*No actual 12 year olds with Tourette's were hurt in the composition of this blog entry.

Sunday, October 7, 2012

but the day may come when you can't feel at all.




1. capable of or susceptible to being wounded or hurt, as by a weapon: a vulnerable part of the body.
2. open to moral attack, criticism, temptation, etc.: an argument vulnerable to refutation; He is vulnerable to bribery.
3. (of a place) open to assault; difficult to defend: a vulnerable bridge.
4. Bridge . having won one of the games of a rubber.
(okay so the #4 definition is kind of random and really has nothing to do with anything, but for some reason I found it amusing. So it stays.)
  
Imagine standing on a stage in front of thousands of people in nothing but your period panties with no make up on... Sounds awful, doesn't it? I even kinda freaked myself out with that mental image. Nobody likes that idea, nobody wants to experience that feeling. Well, I guess maybe somebody, somewhere might... but we're not talking about that guy. Nobody (except aforementioned weirdo) likes feeling exposed or vulnerable. It's fuckin' scary. Especially if you've got previous experience with it absolutely blowing up in your face. FWAP. (This would be the same sound the universe makes when smacking you in the face with its proverbial dick... in case you were wondering.) I think it's why some of us choose to retreat into ourselves. Of course there are other mitigating (oo, I like that word) elements as well. We all have our own set of circumstances and personal bullshit we carry around with us. These factors make us, well... us. That's important. 

But what kind of life are you going to have if you choose to hide behind that all the time? What kind of life are you living if you never take risks? Is it better to spend your life alone, in your solitude, following your routine day after day if it keeps you from getting hurt again? Someone asked me that today and I was at a  lack of a response for a few minutes. I think I finally said something like, "Iono, maybe. I wish I knew." I hate it when people use their pasts as an excuse to be batshit crazy. That is weak fuckin' sauce. 
         
"Like omgz I have the worstest ex-bf ever he was such an asshole and he treated me like shit so I get to act like a fuckin' retard with you and you're just gonna have to deal with my daddy issues."


I call SHENANIGANS. Our past helps create who we are now, but it does not define us. Now don't misunderstand me, I'm not saying that the past is not important. It's like the first few seasons of Lost. If you missed any of the episodes you're not going to have a very clear picture of what's going on. Sure, you'll be able to wing it and sort of follow along but you'll be missing a lot of the details that explain how the story got to where it is. 

It is generally very useful to have enough experience that you know better in a given situation. The whole "older and wiser" thing. Y'know like, maybe I shouldn't do that because I'll get arrested. No. Really. Don't fucking do that. Or maybe I should not stick that Lego in my nose because it's gonna hurt like a motherfucker trying to get it out. Or understanding karmic balance and realizing that cheating on your significant other will cause the universe to ass fuck you, repeatedly, with no lube. But sometimes I think it would be nice to go back to being young and fresh eyed and ready to take on the world because I didn't know better. Ready to jump into anything head first because it felt good and ride that euphoric adrenaline rush while it was there. Life was scary, but in an intense way. A way that made you feel all... tingly and alive and shit. Now it's more like I'm gonna put my big toe in the water and get into the pool one step at a time instead of going at it full speed and doing a cannonball. Maybe there's a comfortable in between? Is that what your 20's are supposed to be for? Hm. If that's the case, I totally screwed the pooch on that one. I don't remember most of the first half of mine.

Do we ever get used to be vulnerable? I don't think so. Some people adapt to it better than others, but it never completely goes away. We can only take so much bullshit before it starts to leave a mark. I guess it just depends on how bad you want whatever it is your after. Just as long as you don't fucking settle for anything less than you deserve.

Thursday, October 4, 2012

aLydanceparty! punkn' tunes



In keeping with the mood I've been in the past few days (which has been very strange indeed) I've got a lot of Belleville scene day flashbacks on here... and holy shit. HILARIOUS. I rocked out and laughed my ass off, simultaneously. As usual, just because they're on the list I do not testify to their awesomeness or lack therof. Happy danceparty-ing.


CUTSMAN; HORSE THE BAND

GET COMFORTABLE; THE JUNIOR VARSITY
(HAHAHA just found an old ass video of Asa from back in the day. yes, it's so old it's on myspace.)

THIS COULD BE USEFUL IN ROCKETRY; SO M ANY DYNAMOS

CAR UNDERWATER; ARMOR FOR SLEEP
(this song is like scary depressing. and I used to listen to it ALOT... explains so much.)

TAKE IT HOW YOU WANT IT; SELF AGAINST CITY

LIKE STARSCREAM; ON BROKEN WINGS
(yesssssssssssssss)

HERE IT GOES AGAIN; OK GO

ANTHEM OF OUR DYING DAY; STORY OF THE YEAR

LAST TRAIN HOME; LOST PROPHETS

YOU'RE SO LAST SUMMER; TAKING BACK SUNDAY

AT YOUR FUNERAL; SAVES THE DAY

HANDS DOWN; DASHBOARD CONFESSIONAL

IF U C JORDAN; SOMETHING CORPORATE

HOW NEAR, HOW FAR; ...AND YOU WILL KNOW US BY THE TRAIL OF THE DEAD

ACT APPALLED; CIRCA SURVIVE

(Anthony Green... I still want to have your babies.)

SEVEN YEARS (ACOUSTIC); SAOSIN

YOUR LATEST VICTIM; PARK

ENFILADE; AT THE DRIVE IN

AMERICAN HEARTS; PIEBALD

Aaaand I officially feel old. And uber lame.




behind each perfect word will be a little bit of me.

     


elbows & knees; montana***

 i'll fuck you if you want.
cause i want it
just as bad as you do.
but i also want to hear the rustle of the sheets
when you turn over in the middle of the night.
i want to feel your hot breath on my neck.
i want the stubble on your chin to graze my cheek
as you kiss me gently on the forehead.
and when i whisper "goodnight," you don't have to reply.
just nudge me with your knee
or poke me with your elbow.


          Been a bit since I hacked away at the sweetness that is my blog (well, except for the whole 1 year thing)... y'know, the receptacle of my excess brain goo...Which is kind of strange, considering I've had a lot going on and haven't slept worth shit in months.  But, as weird as it sounds, I'm totally okay with it. I've gotten to the point where I mostly hate sleeping because I hate dreaming. And no, they aren't the whiny "omg-I-miss-him" dreams I used to constantly bitch about. Fuck. Re-reading my blogs that reoccurring trend was real fucking annoying. It wasn't even really like that, I was just feeling sorry for myself when I decided to write those.
 Bah. Anyway, whatevs. I digress.

          It's not just the using dreams, which don't happen very often anymore. But just... dark shit. And it's so vivid it scares me. Some of it doesn't even make sense. I mean there's a bunch that I am completely aware of where it's coming from... and yeah... I just... would rather not go there. And I've gotten to the point now that when I do sleep for more than a couple hours I feel funny. Although I noticed the dark circles under my eyes today, and cripes. That's gross. I'm going to have to figure out some way to fix that.
          Work, school, work, school, lather, rinse, repeat... The summer flew by me, the end of it was spent fighting with my dad and game-facing away his total dick-like shenanigans. Why do people do that to each other? Attack the ones they claim to love the most? Go for the jugular and all that? Not that I'm not guilty of it because I can be a total asshole when I'm pissed. I just don't understand the thought process that goes behind it. What does it accomplish exactly? If you hurt someone else, you're hurting yourself too. And throwing out all that negative juju just throws it back on yourself too, karmically speaking. But hey, what do I know.
          Man, when my fingers started typing this I had all kinds of excess thoughts to get out... now I feel like I'm wasting my time. Actually lately, I feel like that's all I've been doing. I've been kind of floating on autopilot the last month or so. I sense something big coming... it's time for change. Fall is coming and things are happening all around. We've got the election, we've got people rearranging, situations changing... y'know, all the weird shit. Which is fucking awesome. This is my favorite time of year, and I'm so ready for the next chapter in "ALY'S FUCKING LIFE". The move was almost a new one, but more kind of like a slight continuation of the one before. It's taken me awhile to get used to living here. On a side note, I eat so regularly now that my ass has attained it's high school awesomeness, if not surpassed it. I suppose I'm fortunate that I have a fucking awesome metabolism and any weight gain goes straight to my tits and ass... so I suppose there's at least one positive note.
 Oh. 

          And Halloween's coming up MOTHERFUCKINGYAY. I didn't get to do anything last year, I was on lock down. Actually, no now that I think about it I know what I did last year... yeah, not doing that either. The plan is to make it to some shows out in the city, but we'll see if that actually happens. I've stopped making plans because they have a tendency to fall apart. The whole 'one day at a time' philosophy works better for me hah.
          I should probably try and sleep instead of tap tap tapping away on this stupid keyboard, but I feel like there's something I'm supposed to be writing about and it's not presenting itself..

yeah, still hasn't happened. so here's a blurb of the zombie story I'm writing for my Greek myth class. Maybe it will come to me while I'm watching Heroes instead of sleeping and I can sneak back over the computer and get it out...



          Alexander grumbled a list of profanity at his cell phone as the alarm went off. Complete with a vibrating alert, it was happily buzzing along the edge of the nightstand. ‘Cuz baby I’m howlin’ for you…’ was the song he had set for the alarm. The Black Keys tune had become associated with his morning routine and, as much as he hated mornings, he’d discovered he woke up grouchy if he didn’t hear it.
            He reached out of the blankets and grabbed the annoying vibrating box, planning on hitting the snooze button. As his eyes tried to focus he stared at the phone and noticed the green alert light flashing in the corner, along with a smiling box at the top of the screen.
            “Wha’ the fuh’?” he mumbled, opening the text message.
           
Hey baby, had to get to work.
C U 2nite for dinner??
xo~Des~xo

            He had been completely unaware she was even gone. Instinctively he rolled to the side, half expecting to feel lingering warmth on her side of the bed. No such luck.  The lack of snuggling gratification propelled Alexander out of the covers and into the kitchen to make coffee. He zombie shuffled his way to the counter, clicking on the news as he made his way past the T.V.
            “There have been reports of yet another attack in New York City,” the reporter was saying. Alexander barely registered it, he wasn’t fully awake till after a substantial caffeine intake. He flipped the switch on the Mr. Coffee and the orange light illuminated. Satisfied that his morning was off to a fairly decent start, he walked back across the living room and towards the shower.
            “And now to our reporter in the field. Ashlyn? Are you there?”
            “Yes Jack, I’m here. It seems that at 8:05 this morning Principal Allen Perkins was attacked by a student outside of Ash Tree middle school. Witnesses say the student appeared intoxicated, stumbling across the parking lot and bumping into cars. Perkins attempted to restrain the student, Ace Cross, a 6th grader. As he grabbed Cross by the arm the student turned and savagely bit into his arm. Parents standing nearby pulled the student off the principal and he staggered off, but not before biting the hand of one of the two parents. Perkins was rushed to the hospital after suffering massive bleeding. The parent, name unknown, was treated in the nurse’s office and sent home later that morning. As of now, Perkins is in stable condition, but we know nothing of what became of the student."
           The report followed Alexander into the shower, slowly filtering through the early morning haze. 
            "Stupid kids and their bath salts," he mumbled to himself as he climbed out. He screeched as his feet hit the cold tile and he slid forward into the sink. His shin hit the toilet, throwing his balance off and he fell back into the cabinet. His other foot slid backwards, bashing his heel painfully into the paneling under the sink. He flailed his arms, trying to correct himself and his head flew into the mirror, bouncing off the glass and cracking it. He slid to the floor, and leaned against the cabinet. He sat there, cradling his head in his hands for a few moments, trying to figure out what had just happened. 
           Around the time he had finally decided to get up and assess the damage he heard a knock at the door. Using the sink for leverage, he maneuvered his way off the floor and wrapped himself up in a towel. He hobbled across the living room and tore the door open.
          "What?!" he barked at the person standing there.
          "Woah bro, what happened to you?" his best friend Daemon asked as he stood in the doorway. Alexander looked down as two drops of his blood hit the floor. 
          "Uh..." he murmured. Daemon forced his way into the apartment, grabbing Alexander by the arm. 
           "C'mon dude, we need to get you cleaned up and take you to the hospital."








***I found this a couple weeks ago during one of my many late night stumblings... and it sounds like something I'd write. And I wish I had written it. So therefore, it is now in my blog.