just when I thought I've heard you say the stupidest thing ever

...you keep talkin

Especially if you've built your worth around being capable.
But burnout doesn't just feel bad.

It chips away at who you are.

Rest isn't a reward.
It's how you stay you.

dreams to dream.

 Do you remember the first time you realized you could actively control what you thought about before bed? Is that a weird statement? Or maybe it was the first time I understood the difference between fantasy and reality. I remember experiencing the need to escape from things... but can't recall the cause. But I remember the night, maybe I was actually lucid dreaming. I couldn't decide what I was supposed to fantasize about so I thought of a big open field with butterflies... and yes, unicorns. Though it was more of a white horse than an actual unicorn. And I think we could fly, so perhaps more like a Pegasus. Or wait, isn't there a different name for the ones with horns? {note: google this later during the re-read}Interesting, because my grown up fantasy place is also a field. Not the same one, but outdoors. No unicorns or white horses, though there are goats. I blame it on the part in one of the Jamie + Claire books where this ...disturbed, woman had raised goats and they took them to Brownsville I think it was, along with the baby illegitimate baby the ...disturbed woman, had birthed. I know that story as if it was actual history. Same with Harry Potter. In fact, I know Harry Potter so well I occasionally get HP lore mixed up with real life. Though realistically I'm pretty far behind I haven't seen any of the new movies. Hm.. I should play that game today. 

neat.

TIL The Spiritual Telegraph was a paper written in the mid-late 1800's that focused solely on spiritualistic components. The googlegod says it was similar to a newspaper, but only focused on spiritual and occult happenings. I'm not exactly sure how I ended up there... it was just a tab open on my screen. I've been on Pinterest deep dives lately for my physical journal, so who knows where it came from. I'm back on chair rest, my leg is killing me again today, so I want to deep dive and learn me some shit today. There's a website for preservation of occult periodicals here, which I found interesting. 

i need surgery to keep me blurry.

i am not crazy, my reality is just different than yours

did you finally get the chance to
dance along the light of the day?

our old friend fear, and you, and me

if i knew the way i would take you home

courtesy; stand.atlantic/lewis.carroll/train/bush/grateful.dead/